Believing in your children
Growing up, my parents paid a lot of money to send me to private schools. I remember the feeling of being "behind" academically. I would come home from a long, tiring day at school make a snack, then go to the dining table to do homework until dinner time. I remember a boy in my class was assigned to correct my papers. I remember how he commented on how I must not have studied because I kept getting the wrong answers. I never thought of myself as a bad student because I worked very hard. But, I did feel I was not "smart" enough because I didn't get straight A's like my friends. I got some B's a lot of C's and sometimes, D's and F's. I always felt like no matter how hard I worked, I would be average or below average.
This changed in the 7th grade. I had a very strict English teacher who expected her students to give her their best work and nothing less. Literature was her passion. I remember when she would read poetry to us and I'd see her get teary eyed. This was interesting to us because she was typically hard to please and would normally wear a serious, stern face. One day, she returned our graded essays with red pen marks and commentary. I don't even remember what the essay was about. I just remember what she wrote. She wrote "Good job Erin. You have a special writing ability!" That's all she wrote! Before that, I do not have any memory of anyone saying I was smart or that I was good at anything academically. I started to read more and write book reports just for fun. I would write essays on movies I watched and write poetry about experiences I had.
During my freshman year in high school, my history teacher asked us to pick from a list of topics to write about in essay form. I researched about Serbian refugees and the subject moved me. As I wrote my essay, I wept, thinking of the poor Serbian women being violated and mistreated. Several years after I graduated, a friend's younger brother went to the highschool where that same history teacher worked. He said "I told Mr ______ you said 'hello', and he recalled an essay you wrote. He said it was one of the best essays he ever read". I was humbled and very thankful for this encouragement. In high school I would publish some of my poetry in the high school's literary magazine. I expected to receive A's in my English classes because I was passionate about it and I loved this subject above all others. If I had anything less than an A, I would inquire with my teacher and seek help to improve until I got that "A". After graduating, I went on to attend a private all-women's college where competition was fierce. In Hawaii, my writing may have stood out amongst my peers, but on the mainland... not a chance. In my poetry class, I would get a lot of negative comments about my grammar. Reading my blog posts, you probably notice that grammar isn't a strength of mine. With all the constructive criticism coming my way, I decided to take a risk and use some"creativity". I wrote my poetry in pidgin (Hawaii's broken English mixed with words from Hawaii's different ethnicities). This little creative experiment of mine wouldn't do well in Hawaii. English teachers in Hawaii try to STOP local students from speaking and writing in pidgin. But, I felt like I really had nothing to lose, especially with so much criticism, when all I tried to do was be like everyone else. To my surprise, the professor and my peers LOVED it!
Presently, I write to encourage women to raise their children and be good wives to bring glory to the name of Jesus. I do not share this to boast, but I share this as an example of what a little bit of encouragement can do for a child. At one point, I was on the path to become an English teacher, but I am now doing what God has called me to do. I'm a homeschooling mom, and I teach my children. I also feel that I have been called to encourage other moms in their role as mother, wife, and daughter of the Most High God.
I am learning the lesson of "believing" and "encouraging" all over again as I homeschool my 5 children. I am reminded that I homeschool in order to teach my children about the Lord and to guide my children in the callings that HE will place upon their hearts. I often get over concerned for their future. I wonder if they will be able to support themselves and possibly their own family one day. I sometimes have fears that they will take risks and get hurt. Sometimes, I want to place a career on their hearts, a career that will make them a decent amount of money. I know how hard life can be without a degree and with little money, so I try to put a field of study on their hearts and I subtly try to push my agenda. I have to stop myself and remember that God will put a vision in their hearts and that if we "commit our works unto the Lord our thoughts will be established." -Proverbs 16:3
Recently, my husband ran into a young man that he knew as a little boy when he did after school care at an elementary school. This young man's mother told my husband how he "looked up" to my husband and now this young man has become a teacher and a chef! My husband spent just a little bit of time every day with this boy and many other children. He never knew or imagined where the Lord would take him or what influence he had on him, but he is so glad that he was able to be a part of this young man's journey into adulthood. What an inspiration this was for us!
We spend the entire day with our children! Think of how much more time we are given and how much we can influence them to live for Jesus and reach for the specific calling He has put on their lives.
About 2 months ago, a sweet sister in Christ gave me a book by Kip and Mona Lisa Harding entitled, "The Brainy Bunch". They have 10 children that they homeschool(ed) and a handful of them have already graduated college at or before the age of 12! They do not claim to be geniuses, but they do have a different outlook on schooling. They find out what their children are passionate about and they go to the library to get books on that subject. They do not hold back on college level material and they try to allow them as much experience in this area of study as possible. Basically, their children are so driven by their passion (i.e. potential calling) that they gladly complete the schoolwork and tests necessary to get them to the next level. The Lord's calling is strong in our lives, and in our children's lives. There very few things in life that are more exciting than knowing what our Creator has created you for!
Right now, my boys want to be fishermen. Their passion outweighs my knowledge on this subject so I naturally appeared disinterested when they would bring it up. I know... shame on me! Not anymore! Now, I will take their passions SERIOUSLY. Tomorrow, I will take them to the library and allow them to pick books about fishing, marine biology books, and whatever we can find. I will give them assignments to write and present about their passion. I'll go to the store and get them fish that we can dissect and learn about. I will look up YouTube videos on "how to clean a fish". I will take them to fishing stores and the Wal-Mart fishing aisle (we do this already). I will try my best to take them fishing on a regular basis, and connect with friends and family that fish (this is currently difficult being that most people are too busy, but we will keep praying and asking). IF my boys end up fishing as a hobby and not as a career, it's okay! I will move on to another passion of their's and approach that passion in the same way! I may not graduate them early, and they may not become fishermen, but I will help create life-long memories of their mother BELIEVING IN THEIR DREAMS! They will do what they are called to do one day and they will have lots of experiences in different areas by the time they get their first job.
So, what are your children's dreams? What are your husband's dreams? What are YOUR dreams? Pray about it. This may be the Lord putting a calling on your lives. We need more children growing into adults that wake up and LOVE going to work because they are doing what they have always wanted to do. They are doing what they are CALLED to do.
This is my prayer right now...
Dear Lord, I do not know if you have put a calling on my boys' hearts to become fishermen. I just ask that you continue to draw their hearts to you as you help them by directing their paths. I pray that they will be born again so that they will live for You. I pray they will grow in wisdom, stature and favor with God and man. I pray they will glorify your name with the calling you put on their lives. In Jesus' name, Amen!
So Moms...
Listen to your children as they show various interests and take on different hobbies. Continue to share the message of salvation through Jesus so they can develop a relationship with our Savior. Pray for them and believe in what your Heavenly Father (also THEIR Heavenly Father) has put on their hearts.